Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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