Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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