am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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