I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
