Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
