tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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