We won't sleep together?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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