so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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