He is an equal opportunity slut.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You're like the curious george of whores
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
