I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
did i just pee glitter
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
