Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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