There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
