I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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