Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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