God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
