I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
