my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
