she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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