Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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