Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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