Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
