i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
