Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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