Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
