When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
