Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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