At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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