how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
