Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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