i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize