I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
