So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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