she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize