It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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