why didn't you poke me back
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
