I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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