I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
