Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
