So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
