I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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