After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Let's get the cat blown out
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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