I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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