how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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