i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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