i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
