Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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