I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
