Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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