Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
im six kinds of drunk right now
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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