When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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