if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
